updated pics..

heres some pics of me with my new hair and thinness...lol





and bc i cant help it..heres a fat pic of jim..hehe

and so it goes

ok so i have a little time right now so let me do the summary of all that happened. ok so jims mom kicked me out and i went and stayed with my friend randi for awhile. then when i was sitting there watching tv he came bursting through the door. i was in shock for a second and then i got all excited jumped up and ran to him kissing him and squeezing him and being soooo happy that the day had finally come. and he said its not good. i didnt know what that meant and he then informed me that we were through. i was in total shock. i just stared at him trying to understand like he was speaking german to me. and then finally it hit me and i fell to the ground and cried and cried. i was sooooo upset. i begged him to change his mind and to reconsider but he wasnt hearing it. apparently he had been home for a week before he even told me he was home. and apparently his cunt mother had told him a whole bunch of lies of course which he beleived. something about me having all these guys over the house. and stupid shit like that. i bout died inside. i felt dead. and empty. nothing i said made any difference to him at all. i think had it not been for austin or my sister...i wouldve jumped off a damn bridge..and it was close even still. he said he had also heard that i cheated on him which was not true at all. you all know how i was about jim. then as i was moving things out of the house i learned a few more things. i learned that he didnt have to go to iraq he VOLUNTEERED to go. which killed me all over again. i think had he not gone away everything would have been fine. then he told me he cheated on me 3 times. one with that whore who i was stressing about before if you can remember. that put me over the edge. i fucked him up. made him bleed. then come to find out he moved that whore....danielle into MY house. and then again later i found out that he got her pregnant and he gave her a ring. i just recently found the pictures of the brand new baby they have. it is a beautiful baby and goddamn it broke my heart to see this bitch having MY life..the life i was supposed to have. its been almost a year and im still not over it. i have NOT dated bc i dont think i can..and really i dont want to. noone will ever be what jim was to me. im better then i was in the beginning...but still not healed by far. the good thing is that i lost weight....he got fat. haha fat bastard. he did cheat on her with me a few times. back when i was still vulnerable and thought maybe i could get him back. but now i live in nj im kinda happy here...and not so much at the same time. i think about jim all the time. more so now that i keep seeing all these pictures of his happy life without me. i work at ups where i get asked out every day...but i just cant do it. id rather be alone then to ever love somoene like i did him and then to feel the way i did after....and sooooo yea...thats what happened.

i do beleive i will be blogging again bc there isnt anywhere else really i can put all my thoughts out there. so we will all have to play catch up

its been awhile

Almost a year to be exact. so much to tell and i dont have much time now...but yea...jim came home and he dumped me. fucked me up for a long time. sooooo much has changed since then and i will definitely update better and come see all my old pals soon!! got some new pics as well

yayyy

dont have alot of time to write this...but heres a quick rundown....jims mom is a bitch. she took away my comp and kicked me out of the house..but i have good reason to beleive that he is on his way home....and i couldnt be happeir..alot is about to go down..bc if he comes home and doesnt have a talk with his mom i will be moving to nj!

hope you all are ok...and i miss you all..but im on a library comp and they are kicking me off!

goodbye

hi all...i have decided i am done blogging...i have alot going on and i just dont have the time or interest in blogging...i do have a myspace account which you will find me out if you want to still chat with me...but otherwise i am done. i may be back along the way...but right now im done

i love you all and wish you all well. i thank you all for your kind words and advice and your strength and thoughts......

take care

im not dead...lol

sorry peeps..dont have much to write about lately...i kinda do now..but im lazy and had 3 hours of sleep...so here is a picture post







me and austin had a silly day



some natural beauty for those of you that like it..it scares me...lol



freshly dyed hair



intoxicated





piggies

me and my bestest friend chris


and thats about it..i promise i will do a real post soon



HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!!

oh and i cant remember if i posted this before or not....but here is my myspace addy...come and be my friend. im there alot more then here

http://www.myspace.com/jimmysgirl8280

wasssuupppp

well i guess its about due time to update...not that much is going on to speak of. gio was supposed to come down this weekend..but didnt and we got into a huge fight about it. whatever..i dont even care. i heard on the radio last week them saying 2000 pa guardsmen coming home in june as scheduled..which i beleive means jim. so that made me happy. havent spoken to the parents in weeks..which makes me verrryyyyyy happy. and yea thats about it.

its a beautiful day out and im gonna go frolick...but i figured first i would show you all an intoxicated picture..bc its funny.lol

another weekend ends

hello all. hope you all had a nice drunken st pattys day. i did. haha. my friend gio from nj came down and we went out to the bar for some st. pattys drinking. although i forgot to drink something green..dammit.lol shows how lit i was to start with.lol it was an interesting time. we went to the local hillbilly bar to meet up with the work people and had a decent time. except the ex showed up. some of you know who i mean when i say i saw jeff there. sighhhhhh..i was like dammit all to hell. so i tried my best to pretend he wasnt there. but he is like 6ft or over. so he towered over everyone and was hard to miss. gio said he kept looking at me all night. i bet he was..hahaha he was even standing right next to me at one point. sighhhh. gio was flirting with the bartender. who ended up coming here the next night. after iiiiiiiii had to talk to him all night bc she was scurt. which i have never seen her shy before so this was a weird thing to me. but anyway, on saturday my other friends frank and ed came as well. and we spent almost all day being intoxicated...lol to the point i had to get a nap in to reenergize and be able to go out that night as well. it was alot of fun. i miss these people sooooooo much. jim better appreciate all this bc i really hate it here and would rather be in jersey with all the poeple who are just like me. and understand me..sighh

he has moved to a new shift and i wont be able to talk to him except on the weekends. not that i talk to him alot anyway. but he has been doing a little better later with getting on here to talk to me. but it still sucks. i miss him alot.

and i leave you with a few pics...bc i know you love them