big fucking sigh

and this is what i call my life...life sucks i have decided. i am in a big slump. yesterday was spent with yet another fun day at work..to come home and cry for most of the night. yay..then when i finally stopped crying bc i iss my man and i havent talked to him in two weeks....the phone rings. two guesses as to who it was. actually i will give you one. yup..it was the cunt bitch from hell. im really getting fucking tired of her. i can tell that i am on edge. and i can tell im gonna fucking snap any day now. anyyyyy dayyyyyyy. i really do feel sorry for whoever it happens to. actually i dont.bc chances are they will deserve it. maybe not all of what they will get..unless its my boss or the bitch. anyway..so she calls me to see if i heard from jim. i say no. awkward silence.....................then i say i saw him on the computer on valentines day. she says that wasnt him. i say yes it was bc he sent me a message. awkward silence.............then she goes did you find someone to come and clean yet? i say yes..they will be here on saturday. she says well you need to price them first. i proceed to tell her i found someone..again..and that its someone i know that does it as a job. she asks how much does she want. i say i dunno. she then lectures me about it and tells me how she found someone to do it as well. i AGAIN tell her that i already have it taken care of. awkward silence.................then she tells me how jims credit card bill has come in and that he hasnt bought anything in the last month and how this is odd and he must be out doing field work blah blah blah. i say i dunno..i have seen him on the computer a few times in the last month. awkward silence...and then ok well bye sue. and i hang up. she really makes my blood fucking boil.

today i wake up with puffy eyes and feeling miserable. i dont wanna talk to anyopne really..bc like i said..i know its gonna get ugly soon. i wake up austin and then come in here on the computer. as i am in here..my son says...what is this red stuff all over the floor? i get up and go look and there is puke..red puke..everywhere. fanfuckingtastic. poor kid is getting ready to cry and asks me if i am mad at him. i say im not mad that you got sick..you cant help it..but couldnt you have made it to the bathroom..or the trash can...somewhere besides the carpet. and then i have a big sigh. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and call my job to tell them i will not be at work. thinking well im probably gonna get fired.which would just make this fucking month better then it already is. and then proceed to take off all the blankets and stuffed animals and all the other shit he threw up on. gagging the whole time bc there is chunks and it fucking smells. i had to kick him out bc the smell was making him gag too,and i know that if i have to clean up fresh stuff instead of the hard stuff that is there now..i wont make it. so i am now on load 3 of the smelly icky vomit sheets. austin is downstairs playing playstation. my arms are burning from all the scrubbing i have done..im not done scrubbing yet..but my arms feel like they are gonna fall off so i took a break. i called bossman to ask if i am fired and he says i thought you said your kid was sick. i said he is..im scrubbing puke from my carpet as we speak. but you said that if i missed anymore days in the next 30 days we were gonna have issues. but i promise this is real..you can come visit if you want. im always a smart ass it seems..even when i know better..but like i said..im on the edge.

amd at 8:26 am that is my day so far. i decided i hate my life and that it sucks.