let the war begin

ok some of you may get mad about this..but im past the point of caring really. not to sound bitchy..but you know how i am. anyway, i got an email from jim today. and dammit i wasnt sitting on the comp at the exact moment he came on...of course..anyway, apparently he is on a small vacation..so what better time to tell him then when he isnt in combat. i told him of his moms bullshit. and how it needs to stop. im not asking him to choose between us, but if he does expect me to be here for him when he gets back..that bitch needs to get off my ass. and then i proceeded to tell him all of what she said. hopefully he will listen this time and help me out. bc i am about done with all this bullshit. if i get thrown out of this house...and he allows it..thats it im done. i will move to jersey and i wont fucking look back..here is an exerpt of what i wrote:

booboo,

i miss you so much. i have needed to talk to you for awhile but i never am able to catch you anymore. everything seems to be going wrong and i feel like i am falling apart here. im glad to hear from you and im glad that i know you are ok. what happened to your computer now? you seem to have some issues with that thing. anyway, im typing this to you now so that when you do come back on you can read it and myabe help me out here. i know there is only so much you can do while you are there but jim i am at my wits end with this bullshit. your mom i beleive is really trying to get rid of me before you get home. i know that she hates me and she wants me gone and the more she does this shit the more i realize it. i am trying so hard to be strong here bc i love you so fucking much. and thats why i just cant understand why she does this shit. she knows how much i love you and how much you love me and you would think that would be enough. but i dont think she cares. anyway here is what happened. 2 weeks ago she called me up and told me that i have 2 weeks to do all this shit or she is throwing me out again. im really getting tired of being threatened to be kicked out every 3 damn months. there is always some stupid excuse behind it. and im really trying to keep my cool with her bc you know shes your mom and all but i dont know how much longer i can do it jim. she said i am taking advantage of the house and letting it go to shit. i dont know what the fuck shes talking about. she said i need to hire someone to come in here and clean it..wait..she said disinfect it from top to bottom. all of this bc there is dust on the baseboards. and there was a little juice spill in the refrigerator. then she went on to say i need to have the walls painted bc of all the scuff marks and shit on them which i had to inform her that they have been here since before you left. then she said i need to hire someone to come in here and shampoo the rugs bc of all the stains. the only stains that have anything to do with me are the juice ones in austins room. the rest are all from your drunken friends...you know the ones by the glass table and stuff. what i dont understand is she is so pissed off about all these things that you already knew about,but she is holding them against me. and if i dont do it she is gonna throw me out. but when you come home everything here is gonna be exactly the same as it is now. i just dont understand why she is trying to push me away and get me out of here. isnt it enough that we love each other? i just cant take it anymore jim. i know you said i should go and leave till you come home..but its too close to you coming home nopw and i dont wanna leave. i want her to stop coming in here and doing all this jim before she really does push me away. she is making me fucking crazy and i know its all bc she is stressed over you. but she needs to understand i am stressed over you and i love you too. please jim please fix all of this bc i cant take it anymore. i really cant. i love you with all my fucking heart and i always will,but i cannot take this bullshit from her anymore. im sorry that i have to tell you all this bullshit..but i dont know what else to do anymore. i have been trying to keep the drama between her and i from you. but i just cant anymore. she even went out of her way to say to me.."and dont go running your mouth to jim about this either". i really i am like her punching bag for when she gets upset with you. i dont know. im not trying to bad mouth her jim..but if you love me...and you want me to be here forever..you need to make her back off of me. before i lose it.


i think that was a nice version..dont you?