screw up

ever notice that when things are good in your life, it never fails. somehow you fuck something up? yea thats the story of my life. but first lets go back in time a bit. oh and this will be long...so dont say i didnt warn you.


saturday was the day we were gonna go out for jims bday.i was so psyched to go out. i thought we were gonna go to the hardware bar. but we didnt cuz noone wanted to travel. then we were gonna go to jj's. well my friend from jersey was supposed to come down like she promised. well the bitch didnt answer any of my damn calls and then sends me a text message saying did you call enough? like being a bitch. i told her i was gonna call and tell her what was happening so that she could come and be here. well then i tell her where we are going and shes like well im not coming cuz its not worth the drive to go there. ok isnt the point that your coming to see me and jim? so i was like oh this is some bullshit. this is my best friend of like 13 years, and cuz shes at some dudes house shes being all shady? fuuuuuck that. so i text messaged her back and believe me it wasnt nice. havent heard from her since. whatever, i dont even care. anyway, then let me tell you how we never even left the damn house. i was pissed. granted it wasnt my bday anyway, but damn i was excited for like weeks about this day and we didnt go anywhere. now he says that well go somewhere for new years eve which is ok i guess. but kinda sux cuz EVERYONE is out for new years eve. everywhere we go is gonna be super packed. uhhh but again, WHATEVER. then yesterday. this is the main part of the story. yesterday was jims actual bday. well his mom was doing this thing for him like a dinner thing blah blah blah.

first of all, i didnt wanna be near his dumb bitch sister and thought it better not to go but he wasnt hearing it.

second of all, his aunt, uncle and cousins were coming and gramma too. and i dread family events. as it is when just his parents are there i get ignored. add on some more family members and its over.

so i went over and sat out in the other room being unsociable and when someone noticed i was like, well i dont wanna sit in there and feel all squished. cuz there was 9 people crammed at this lil table. no wait 10 and i didnt feel like being squished. i dont like feeling squished. anyway so thats how the day basically went. oh wait the best part. now i know some of you are gonna be like what a bitch, but i dont care. i think its funny. especially since shes been such a bitch to me lately. ok

well it came to be time for jim to get his cake with the candles and all that shit. well remember how i said jims family ignores me for jim? well they do his sister too. so they did the cake and didnt even notice she wasnt there. so when she came out of the bathroom and saw everyone was eating cake she started crying. now cuz im an evil grudge holding spiteful bitch, i was laughing on the inside. they had to do the whole candle and singing shit all over again so shed stop crying. so funny. im still laughing bout it. i know im mean. and once again....WHATEVER. thats my phrase for today.

well finally we get home and me and jim somehow get into this huge battle that i started as usual. not sure where the hell it came from. but it just kept escalalating. and sometimes when i get mad i say things that dont make sense or i dont mean. well this was one of those days. jim said something to me about i always shit on him and i flipped and said something like why should i be perfect for you when you cant even bother to marry me or some shit. and he got pissed. now jim doesnt get mad. so this was rare occasion. he wouldnt talk to me, look at me, or touch me. at first i was so mad i didnt care. but then i calmed down and felt bad and told him i didnt really mean that. and heres the icing on the cake. he told me for xmas he was gonna buy me an engagement ring and surprize me with it on xmas, but not now. goddamn my big mouth and fat head. sucks to be me. we made up. so everythings fine. but i bet i still dont get a ring. oh well, i only have myself and my big fat mouth to blame.


sigh