selfish day

every now and then i get a selfish day. seems though with jim going away i have been having even more. on new years eve we are going to have a new years eve/ goodbye jim party. a 2 in one ya know? well, i invited my bestest friends from jersey so they can come and support me, and help me get through it. and ones coming, one has other plans that she paid 600 bucks for and the other says that shes spending it with her family bc theyve been having some hard times this past year. now i know in my heart or somewhere that these are very reasonable reasons and i shouldnt be mad or anything. but in the evil part of my brain im pissed. cuz i feel like id drop whatever and go see them if they needed me. i dunno, i know im stupid, or acting stupid. probably cuz my period is due soon. damn hormones. i hate when they make me act irrationally. i hate being a girl sometimes. ok well im gonna go sulk like a three your old now. bbl