abandonment

so first i would like to say i went to the gym for 45 minutes today.yayyy to me. i did the treadmill for about 22 minutes and the bike for 11 doing 3 miles altogether. and then i got back on that demon machine i was on saturday and i didnt last very long again. dammit!! i will conquer it.lol these lil tiny girls were like running on it and i can barely stay on it.but whatever. i will try again tomorrow.lol

ok next topic. so ive been thinking, some of you will remember how i told you that my friend of 13 years dumped me back in december. bc she said i was selfish and its always about me. which with her its bullshit bc it was always about us. oh and she said i was using her too. ive tried repeatedly to get in touch with her. everytime i go to jersey i call and try to visit with her. i called her on her birthday, ive tried to im her on the aol.nothing, she really wants nothing to do with me. if it was anyone else i would say ahhh fuck her. but ive known this girl since fifth grade. and now at the time when i really need friends,i miss her sooooo much. and it hurts my feelings that she wont even try to fix this. that she could toss me away like i was nothing.like we were nothing. how do you just throw 13 years away.

i tried to call her and im her today. and nothing. i miss her. alot!! we have a lot of great memories. my other friends from jersey say forget about her. but i cant do that. i still have pictures around the house of her. she was my best friend. and even though she dumped me, those pictures were from good memories. and im not willing to throw them away. bc although we arent friends now, in my memories and my heart,we still are.

sighhhh, i miss the old days