a little bit of sappiness

haha. just cuz im missing my baby sooo much..i am going to torture you ..my friends with some love sap. lol

but first i will tell you all that so far the week is great. but tomorrow doesnt look as promising. we shall see.

ok back to the sap. so the other day i found my old journal. the one that i meet jim in. now to fully understand it all and to feel the sap..lol. now before the part where i meet jim..i was a playette. i had been hurt so much by one single guy that i decided to become a really cold and mean bitch. and i enjoyed it alot. i would have "projects". i would flirt like crazy with these guys and it was all to see if they wanted me. if they wanted to date or screw or whatever. and when i knew they did..i'd move on to someone else. in reading this journal you see all my scheming and plotting i had for all these guys. 8 in total. and you could see how much fun i was having. i wa a real bitch.lol i have no regrets. anyway,jim was one of these projects....here is some excerpts of my journal

0ct 18,01

i got a new project. a cutie ass guy in the warehouse. wooooohooooo
(lol..i dont seem much different do i?)

oct 29,01

new guy/jim

we've been hanging out after work lately. hes pretty cool. i hope to keep it going and get me at least a hook-up. this project is going well

(in the journal..all the guys are seperated in name form and the stats of the project are next to them)

oct 31,01(this is where the project seems to be lost)

i went to meet jim. he told me rumors he had heard about me. then we went driving and went to the bridge and talked for awhile. he told me in the last two days that i am cute in glasses and he has fun with me and he looks forward to going to break(we worked together) to see me. he always hugs me and stuff. i really like him. made a change in me.


nov 5,01

me and jim hung out all weekend. we cuddled and snuggled and bonded. he met my friends and they actually approved of him.

nov 18,05

so much is going on in my life. and its actually good stuff. me and jim are officially together. and its great. everything with him is great. he makes me so very happy.

nov 26,01(jim came home with me for turkey day)

the jersey vaca was great!! him came with me and austin and it was a great experience. austin told jim he loved him. it was so sweet. it was a great bonding experience for us. i think it may have brought us closer together.even being around him all that time,we still get along. we got drunk and ended up having sex. wooohooo. i feel really positive about this realtionship. i love everything about him. on the way back from nj we stopped and had sex 3 more times. im soo happy. nothing else matters anymore

nov 28,01

jim told me he thinks he loves me. which surprized the shit out of me.


ok thats enough. 11 days after me and jim were me and jim he told me he loved me. and he meant it. things got way more lovey as the time passed. so many people dont understand how i can wait for him year after year..or do the things he asks me to. but to just know him and know us..you just understand. when i read back and realized again.. that he told me he loved me so soon.. i was amazed. kinda like we were a love at first site kind of couple. i knew before he said anything that i loved him. but i was scared to say it. i had to bite my tongue. and when he finally said it.. i said ive been wanting to say it for awhile. and he said me too.

god i miss him