another day...

well today was another day of excitement. lol i started early today with the whole pissing evryone off thing. and i dont really care. lol. about 7:15am i found the boss man and asked if we were gonna be forced to listen to country everyday. bc i hate it. i dont wanna hear it. and country day is supposed to be on friday only dammit. and its been on every fucking day. i didnt say all that though. so he starts bitching at me. all i did was ask if it was gonna be everyday. i told him if it is then fine but i want a new table to work at bc i want to bring in a radio so i dont disturb the country ass department i work in . im tired of hearing it. i think if we cant all agree..turn the fucker off. but instead i asked this. and he goes oh yea sure vanessa. you can go work at that table and then work your way out too. i flipped out. "this is why i dont fucking talk to you. you dont hear a goddamn word i say....." and then he goes well soon im just gonna turn it off is that what you want. i gave him my big eyes and my biggest kool aid smile and just stared at him till he got pissed and walked off. hehe fucker..everytime i talk to him he threatens me. i dont do threats. dont fucking threaten me, that does not make me listen. so i guess he figured if he turned the radio off i would beg him to turn the country back on. fuck that!! he told evryone it was my fault there was no radio and everyone was pissed off at me. but i didnt complain about the music. just tried to arrange a way around it. yea so everyone was pissed. and i stared him down all day..bc he kept glaring at me..and i smiled so hard all day my face hurt. he was pissed. i told you i dont respond to threats..fucker!!lol

so me and my sissy had a fight last night. it seems to be a monthly thing. i read in her journal thing that she went to therapy and told the lady some big thing. something she was scared for her dad to find out. so i asked what it was. and it went downhill from there. i asked if she didnt trust me. she said no it wasnt that she just didnt want to tell me. and this bothers me. when i was young i always wished i had an older sister. and although i know she loves me and all..its just like i am a distant cousin. and i hate it. if shes in trouble or upset about something i want her to feel like she can come to me. with anything. but all i get is the basic stuff. is it greedy of me to want that? i told her i just wanna be a good older sissy. she said i was great. but if i am so great why wont she tell me anything. i may be able to help her or comfort her in a way someone else cant. this disturbs me alot. and i hate that when i talk to her that i have to walk on eggshells or she flips out on me and makes me feel crappy by not respecting her decisions. whatever. in good sissy news...she has found a boy she likes that i think may like her back. all i know is what i read of her conversations with him and he seems cool. which is good bc i wouldnt want to have to kick his ass. hehe. awwwwwwww and she told him i drive him insane. pshhh god at least make me nice before telling him im crazy. gawddd