bc i know my flaws..

so tonight..i thought i was ok. then i read a post on my bibsy's thing. it made me stress again. we had a tiff..and after lots of meaness and stuff we had a heart to heart and i cried alot. and then i drank alot of vodka. so i am numb now. its looking to be another rough weekend. and sadly vodka is my answer to that.

another fun day at work. there is this man there. he cracks me up. he has the most serious face like all the time. and the shit that comes out of his mouth fucks me up. with his straight serious face..he askes me if ill help him cheat on his wife. i think hes joking but im not positive. but hes really cool. he makes me laugh and hes always complimenting me. which is nice. its always nice to be complimented.

today the lady at work was saying something to me. i cant reme,ber what. oh i was saying how i wasnt looking forward to the weekend. and she asked why..and i said bc i go home and be alone. and its not fun without jim. that without him i dont feel complete. and she looked at me like i was crazy and asked if i was insecure. and i felt bad for her bc you could tell shed never been in love like that. it has nothing to do with insecurity. i spent so long not being loved..and to finally be loved more than i could ever dream of....and have it go away..kills me. had i never known love..id be ok. bc i wouldnt know what i was missing. does that make sense?

drunken fool is done now