sighhh

so i know some of you have been worried. im ok. i wouldnt do anything dumb. i love my loves too much. but life sure does suck. i did finally talk to jim on weds. i got an email. it didnt say much. apparently he got a virus or something and the comp is being fixed. he got on the instant messenger for a second it was like a tease. it was nice to know he was ok. but i just miss him so fucking much. i really feel like i am dying inside. i think its cuz the holidays are coming and our anniversary is coming. whatever it is it sucks ass!! not to mention work has been extremely stressful. i havent felt like posting. i dont have anything to say and i cant seem to make myself care about anything these days. im truly sorry to all my loves. i have been briefly reading all your posts so dont feel unloved. im just so shitty right now i cant offer any good advice or happy thoughts. i know you all understand. im hoping to have a good talk with jim soon and then i should be back to normal.

the only reason i am posting now is bc i am severely intoxicated. oh yea i am!! i went out with the work crew bc some people said they would buy me drinks. i am all about the free drinks. damn skippy. so 8 drinks later i was ready to fight. long story dont ask. and i came home. but not ill i got realllllly drunk.

sadly i think drinking is my only means to happiness lately. a few guys hit on me. i love when guys try to be slick when they hit on you. this guy tonight was all...yea so tough crowd...all the girls here either have a husband or boyfriend.....where's yours? are you kidding me? how pathetic is that.lol

ok off to my drunkenness