5 days to go (sniff sniff)
hello all. still dont care about the colors. still numb like. today was an awful day. i think stress mixed with road rage and pms is a deadly combo. 5 days till jim leaves. havent really seen him a whole lot. guess hes got to get his quality time in with everyone else too. still no ring. im starting to get back into that funk again. i hate being so depressed into the point of numbness. i plan on getting so completely trashed that i yak tomorrow. yak and then drink till i yak again. sounds like a plan.
another day of life is over, and still i feel no peace
another day alone, another day unhappy
shot after shot i take, but it only makes it worse
its like the tequila is my hiding place from life which is my curse
tired of being called the bitch tired of being put down
tired of being questioned, tired of being around
i dont want to feel empty, i want to be full of heart
i want to be able to love you not just push us apart
i want to hold you in my arms look up at you and smile
i want to be happy and carefree again and be that way for awhile
i want to walk down the aisle with you i want to be your wife
i want to hold your hand and say i will love you for all the days of my life
i want us to be as one and stay that way forever
bc i feel like i cant live my life if we arent always together
funny i how i say that but i cannot make it that way
i start with the thought of positive love but lose it by the end of the day
then you start to question how deep does my love go
i love you so much i cant seem to show it though
i push and push and try to make you choose
i know i need to stop bc i know that soon ill lose
i dont want to lose you this i know for sure
but its like i cannot stop it this illness has no cure
please dont hurt for me you dont need this pain
im not sure how you made it this long without goin insane
please dont be so frustrated my love please dont let it show
bc as much as i love you, if im hurting you, ill let you go
theres my thoughts for today.
everyone have a happy and safe new year. be back when i can
another day of life is over, and still i feel no peace
another day alone, another day unhappy
shot after shot i take, but it only makes it worse
its like the tequila is my hiding place from life which is my curse
tired of being called the bitch tired of being put down
tired of being questioned, tired of being around
i dont want to feel empty, i want to be full of heart
i want to be able to love you not just push us apart
i want to hold you in my arms look up at you and smile
i want to be happy and carefree again and be that way for awhile
i want to walk down the aisle with you i want to be your wife
i want to hold your hand and say i will love you for all the days of my life
i want us to be as one and stay that way forever
bc i feel like i cant live my life if we arent always together
funny i how i say that but i cannot make it that way
i start with the thought of positive love but lose it by the end of the day
then you start to question how deep does my love go
i love you so much i cant seem to show it though
i push and push and try to make you choose
i know i need to stop bc i know that soon ill lose
i dont want to lose you this i know for sure
but its like i cannot stop it this illness has no cure
please dont hurt for me you dont need this pain
im not sure how you made it this long without goin insane
please dont be so frustrated my love please dont let it show
bc as much as i love you, if im hurting you, ill let you go
theres my thoughts for today.
everyone have a happy and safe new year. be back when i can
posted by naughtygirl @ 1:36 AM
3 Comments:
At 9:01 PM,
D-LuX said…
Remembered you commented on my blog a while back, and thought I'd see what you've been up to. Sounds like your not doing so well lately, which sucks... My friends husband has been sent to "hell" as well... Hope things get better for ya. Maybe swing by my blog, I'm sure to have something much more trivial to bitch about...lol
At 12:48 AM,
Krista Springtead said…
happy new year kiddo ;)
i know you are under stress right now what with the whole Jim thing. i hope it all works out soon. you have dealt with enough recently.
BUT, on a bright side, for 18 months (i think it is 18) you won't have to put up with the sister!!!...okay i am trying here, gimme some credit.
At 11:29 PM,
cedia said…
Hey, I hope things are going better for you. Stay strong girl.
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