f-ing men, i swear

ok so like i just wrote a blog but its almost officially friday so heres an early morning friday one. hahaha. i decided i needed to write this cuz im very upset/pissed off. ive bout had it with men. ive decided they are all fucking stupid. excuse my language, but they are. so ok, remember way back when (like 2 weeks ago) when i was bitching(god all i do is bitch it seems) about how jim called me up yelling at me about my friend telling his siter who told her parents i said we were getting married? ok well jims sister kim(haha i know its funny right? jim and kim) came over today to give austin his birthday gifts, and i confronted her again(evil grin) about that whole situation, and heres what she told me. she said she had said something to her mom jokingly who passed it on to the dad and they are all friggin smartasses so his dad said something to him at work. they work at the same place. and apparently his co workers, all male, started picking on him. so thats the real reason he got pissed and felt the need to call and bitch for a half hour. so heres my point, who the fuck cares. is he like ashamed of marrying me, i dunno all help me out here. bc i mean for real who fucking cares. is it really that big a damn deal that i had to listen to 45 minutes of cursing? and what does that mean about us? does he just tell me hes gonna marry me to make me happy? the whole thing makes me really suspicious like and we all know a suspicious female is no good. once you get suspicious(am i spelling that right?) about one thing you start doubting everything. i think im starting to lose my damn mind. i really do. now im even more in a funk

well the good news is that my friend from jersey is coming to see me tomorrow. which means i lose a lil bit of country and get some jersey back for awhile. and that always makes me better. till it wears off. im starting to become a very miserable person and i hate it. i didnt used to be this way.


i miss the old me......