maybe hes not
im starting to think that maybe jims not the one for me anymore. maybe i need to just pack up and move out and go somewhere far away where i wont think about him anymore. cuz im serious when i say ive had it with ALL the bullshit. im done. i dont want to do anymore.
today me and jim had a chat on the phone, and i asked why dont we get married when he comes home for break. and he didnt say anything about it. then after digging and crying and yelling he tells me he doesnt want to get married till he turns 25. thats 3 years from now. i dont want to wait that long. my point is he loves me so much then why do we need to wait that long. why doesnt he love me enough to marry me now? weve been together for 3 1/2 years now. by the time he turns 25 it will be 7 years. i dont want to wait. he says whats the difference. i said im ready now. then he goes into the whole, when i first met you you never wanted to get married. well thats all changed. am i not allowed to change my mind? wtf? he says hes too young. i said if you love me enough to marry me now than what difference does it make. then he said how getting married is just a waste of money and a piece of paper.
i dont think he really even wants to marry me. when i was saying im ready now, hes like well how old are you. like saying im almost 25 so of course id want to. then i counterattacked with ive been ready since i was 22 like you are. i dont know why its so important to me to do this now. but i know i dont want to wait 3 more years. if he loves me so much then why hold back? i just dont understand and it hurts my heart so bad. the only things i can come up with are 1> he really doesnt even know if im the one he wants to marry. so thats why we need to wait 3 more years. which why should i wait out 3 years for him to try and see if im really the one and have him break my heart. and dammit i just forgot what 2 was. motherfucker!!!!!!
im starting to wonder why i even get out of bed. i know this is awful to say...but i really believe that if i didnt have austin, i would have done killed myself by now. bc my life is just one fucking let down, after abandonment,after let down.. and ive bout had all i can fucking take!
today me and jim had a chat on the phone, and i asked why dont we get married when he comes home for break. and he didnt say anything about it. then after digging and crying and yelling he tells me he doesnt want to get married till he turns 25. thats 3 years from now. i dont want to wait that long. my point is he loves me so much then why do we need to wait that long. why doesnt he love me enough to marry me now? weve been together for 3 1/2 years now. by the time he turns 25 it will be 7 years. i dont want to wait. he says whats the difference. i said im ready now. then he goes into the whole, when i first met you you never wanted to get married. well thats all changed. am i not allowed to change my mind? wtf? he says hes too young. i said if you love me enough to marry me now than what difference does it make. then he said how getting married is just a waste of money and a piece of paper.
i dont think he really even wants to marry me. when i was saying im ready now, hes like well how old are you. like saying im almost 25 so of course id want to. then i counterattacked with ive been ready since i was 22 like you are. i dont know why its so important to me to do this now. but i know i dont want to wait 3 more years. if he loves me so much then why hold back? i just dont understand and it hurts my heart so bad. the only things i can come up with are 1> he really doesnt even know if im the one he wants to marry. so thats why we need to wait 3 more years. which why should i wait out 3 years for him to try and see if im really the one and have him break my heart. and dammit i just forgot what 2 was. motherfucker!!!!!!
im starting to wonder why i even get out of bed. i know this is awful to say...but i really believe that if i didnt have austin, i would have done killed myself by now. bc my life is just one fucking let down, after abandonment,after let down.. and ive bout had all i can fucking take!
posted by naughtygirl @ 3:08 PM
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