i think i may be bitter

im not usually a twice a day poster. but i wrote a poem. which started out sad and then got very angry. before i post it to let you read it, i will tell you that i got an email from jim. it wasnt in response to the important one. it was to one i sent him today. so he still has no clue. said he doesnt have a whole lot of free time. so im still waiting. but bc i truly beleive in my heart that we are done, i think this is where all my anger came from. so here is my very bitter angry like poem. i know some of you will be proud.lol

untitled by me

hearts break in the summer heat
the shaming realization of your life without me
the hurt and the tears and the pain inside
the thought of you gone, how our love died
where was i when it all went to shit
how did i not see, how did i miss it
how could you say things, and not to me
how could you brush me aside so carelessly
am i so easy to discard to easy to forget
do i fill your life with nothing but regret
how long has it been since you truly felt the love
the love i felt was so great the love i dream of
how come it just seems to fall apart
how come im here with the broken heart
how could this happen and how could i not know
how was it so easy for you to take off and go
why am i here and feeling so alone
why am i the one feeling desperate why on my own
once you said you loved me and i thought it was true
once i believed that i truly loved you too
i thought i still did and that you felt the same for me
how did i float through life so fucking blindly
how could you go away and not tell me on your own
why does everyone else have a clue and im the last to know
you told me to trust you, told me to not fret
and now im the one here living in regret
so heres to my stupidity to my belief in true love
damn me and my thoughts that you were the one
damn me for beleiving everything you said
fuck me for shaming myself, wishing i was dead
damn those warm nights where you held me tight
damn me for letting you go without a fight
and fuck you for leading me to think that you loved me
and then dropkicked my heart so effortlessly
fuck you for letting me trust you, and fuck you for leaving
fuck you for your lies and all your decieving
hope you feel like a man now for trampling on my heart
guess i shouldve known better from the very start

i told you i got some penned up rage inside.

sighhh