just felt the need
the other day i read someones blog that brought a little back into time. back where i havent been in awhile. back where i really dont like to visit. and now i just feel the need to post this. if you dont like it you can read my earlier post from today. its cool i wont be offended. i may go deeper into it tomorrow though.
hell house
they said it was beautiful, they said it was nice
but when you walked in your blood turned to ice
you lost all touch of feelings, every sense of emotion
all of your happiness, and some of your devotion
you were like a zombie trying to get through the day
watching every thought or word you wanted to say
it was like the walls had ears, you were never safe
the people there familiar, but all were afraid
of the demons that were inside, but that you couldnt see
god it was so hard growing up there, hard to be me
always scared to come home, to see what the night had in store
to hear all the screaming and things hitting the floor
running to save my sister, from the violence she might find
slowly but surely losing my fucking mind
it wasnt supposed to be like this, families were supposed to be happy
but the only thing i ever felt was a deep sense of misery
people on the outside would think our life was grand
but they were never there when my stepfather would raise his hand
they didnt see the blood, they didnt see the tears
they didnt see the cops, they didnt feel our fears
they didnt know a damn thing, if they did they didnt help
they didnt care about the bruises they didnt see the welts
from 5 to 16 all the things ive seen
and in those 11 years, noone heard the screams
everyone spread the rumors, but noone would help
and every night another piece of me would slowly melt
noone knew what it was like to be me, cuz noone would understand
big house with nice things yea my life was grand
24 years old now and still i cannot escape
its like im still in that life and this one is fake
the scars they are so deep,they never go away
no matter how long im gone im stuck in those days
this house is like hell, with all the demons inside still
they havent left yet and i doubt they ever will......
hell house
they said it was beautiful, they said it was nice
but when you walked in your blood turned to ice
you lost all touch of feelings, every sense of emotion
all of your happiness, and some of your devotion
you were like a zombie trying to get through the day
watching every thought or word you wanted to say
it was like the walls had ears, you were never safe
the people there familiar, but all were afraid
of the demons that were inside, but that you couldnt see
god it was so hard growing up there, hard to be me
always scared to come home, to see what the night had in store
to hear all the screaming and things hitting the floor
running to save my sister, from the violence she might find
slowly but surely losing my fucking mind
it wasnt supposed to be like this, families were supposed to be happy
but the only thing i ever felt was a deep sense of misery
people on the outside would think our life was grand
but they were never there when my stepfather would raise his hand
they didnt see the blood, they didnt see the tears
they didnt see the cops, they didnt feel our fears
they didnt know a damn thing, if they did they didnt help
they didnt care about the bruises they didnt see the welts
from 5 to 16 all the things ive seen
and in those 11 years, noone heard the screams
everyone spread the rumors, but noone would help
and every night another piece of me would slowly melt
noone knew what it was like to be me, cuz noone would understand
big house with nice things yea my life was grand
24 years old now and still i cannot escape
its like im still in that life and this one is fake
the scars they are so deep,they never go away
no matter how long im gone im stuck in those days
this house is like hell, with all the demons inside still
they havent left yet and i doubt they ever will......
posted by naughtygirl @ 1:44 PM
3 Comments:
At 2:22 PM,
Krista Springtead said…
wow, you know, hasn't this journal thing seemed to help, though? i mean to use it as a way to vent. to talk about what your personal demons are?
it just seems as a way for release, you know?
just be glad that you are safe and happy. and make sure to let your sister know that no matter what, you are there for her if she ever needs someone. ;)
At 3:01 PM,
naughtygirl said…
no the blog thing is great i love it. i was just thinking bout this subject and decided to post this. this poem is old. i told yu. im having a good day for once.lol
At 12:29 AM,
Queen on the run said…
All I can say is WOW!!!! We have traversed the subject before and I am glad that you are having a good day! I hope that it continues into tomarrow and everyday thereafter.:)
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