ok mood has passed

well im not angry anymore. and on monicas behalf, she never called me an asshole or said i was selfish. but i can read between the lines. but whatever...ill let it go.

there isnt much to tell really. still no word from my lover. i guess they are very busylike. i know he will be moving toward iraq soon. sometime early next week. im hoping to here something soon. but i guess i dont really mind pretending everythings ok. which is what i think im doing. well its half and half. sometimes i pretend everything is fine and dandy. and the other half of the time, i act like we are broke up already. sounds crazy but it works for me.

my sissy also yelled at me also yesterday. said i was gonna make myself crazy. bc im sad all the time which isnt really true. i only get sad when im in the were gonna break up mode. bc then i think about all the fun goofy retarded stuff weve done. which is alot. and then i laugh about it, and then i think what if we never have that again. BUT.....

i still have not cried. now raise your hand.. how many of you are proud of me? oo oo i am!!! lol. i was gonna tell a funny story but i wouldnt even no which one to tell,theres so many.lmao, ok i will start with an early one. its short.

one day me jim and a few of his and my friends were supposed to go to the mall. it was close to halloween or right after i cant remember that. but the boys who are dumb..lol i think jim was only 18 then. i was 21. and they wanted to be silly. so jim let me put makeup and fake eyelashes on him. lmmfao. and he looked really good too bc i am a makeup pro. i even got sparkly glitter on him. and his friend wore this really goofy golf looking outfit. it was funny as hell. we went to the mall and all these people were staring at them, and giving them weird looks. i guess you had to be there.but believe me it was funny. ill think of another one tomorrow

k love ya