sniff sniff

yes so i was feeling down yesterday, i was mopey and sad and missing jim. so what do i do to make it better? well i didnt do it on purpose,but i found my "jim" box. with all different stuff that jims taken me to or you know that kind of crap. there was ticket stubs from movies. i think one was blade 2 and the other was ice age.(the rest are in a photo album, but i do have all of them.hehe) there was a set of matches from the econolodge from when i came up to see him before he was shipped off to bosnia last time. our last weekend together. i think theres a pencil or pen in there too. our map from when we went to great adventure. all kinds of shit from when we went to the inn at the dove which is a really lovers kind of hotel for our second to last weekend before he went to bosnia. a drawing of me and him from either dorney park or great adventure i cant remember which. a swirly straw, envelopes from xmas gift certificates, balloons from bdays, a license plate i had made that said jim and vanessa and was on my car for a long time until i wrecked it.lol. pictures of bosnia. a map thing from when we went to the baltimore aquarium, a wipey from hooters, a credit card from espn zone. haha nudie pictures of jim playing in bubbles.(dont pick on him i made him do it.lol) and all of the letters(all 9 of them) that he wrote me while he was away in bosnia. and i found one and i read it and i cried for the next two hours. im not sure if i cried bc it was so sweet, or bc you can kinda see how much things have changed. only my longtime readers will catch this bc i dont have it in me to explain it today. so i decided to post the letter. some of you will be confused as to why im so sad. and for you i will explain tomorrow. but the main readers will get it. so here goes..oh wait i forgot to tell you this was supposed to be my card for our 1 year anniversary. there are some drawings in it which i cant show but i will explain them.lol


(its all folded up and says: open carefully my love, I LOVE YOU)

(inside):

11nov02

I Love You baby!! i dont know when this is going to get to you hopefully it gets to you on the 16 or the 18. i love you so much i cant believe we have been together for ayear already it was a very fast year. Hopefully next year at this time we are much further along in our relationship that would really be good. we will be living together and hopefully engaged.

(picture: its little stick figures of me and him. we each have rings on our fingers. next to us is an equals sign and then it says love. then another equals sign and a huge house and then another equals sign and a baby in a stroller)

you said you wanted a card hopefully this will do im no artist or writer. I LOVE YOU!! i miss you and cant wait to get out of here to be with you forever. i should have plenty of money when i get home to get us a house and then we can get our life started together. by the way thats a great picture aint it? i really tried its my third copy the other pictures were very bad. did i tell you that i love you? i really really do!!

talk to you late

love jim

god im crying again