whyyyyyyy???

so the other night i got jim a card. it said :

when you smile, it makes me smile
when you laugh , it makes me laugh
(then you open it)

now take your clothes off and lets see what happens.

lol i thought it would make him smile and think dirty thoughts of me for a second. anyway, i happened to still be really pms-y. and alot intoxicated and upset. which apparently isnt a good time to write out a card to your lover whos on the other side of the world with more pressing problems then the ones youve got. bc i went on and on about that fucking letter. but i did tell him i was intoxicated and full of hormones and to not worry about me id be fine in really big letters. so hopefully he wont get all stressed about me. i wrote another letter last night that should get there about the same time as that card telling him that i was fine now and not to worry about me. and i managed to sound much happier in the letter. so hopefully he will get them on the same day. probably not. but whatcha gonna do.

god i miss him so much its unbearable. i had a weird dream last night that iw as with him. i dunno where we were. it definitely wasnt iraq and people were shooting at us and i got hit. i didnt die or anything but i got hit.

still no emails. im sooo worried. i think i very well may go fucking crazy before this experience is over. god i hope hes ok. i dont know what id do without him. i know dont think like that...but i cant seem to not think about that when i dont hear from him.

i miss my booboo