the hardware bar

sorry its been so long. we had such a busy weekend here. sort of. but it doesnt look like anyone has been coming here anyway.

friday night i went to my friend randis house to babysit for a little while. she went to this crappy bar thats near us for a little while. she ran into an old friend of ours named chris and then brought him over to visit me. i was so happy and as they got in the house, jim called said he was almost home. so he came over too. so they partied a bit for a few hours and austin slept over there, so me and jim left. let me tell you how i hate the country. 6 deer ran in front of me in 3 different spots. little bastards. anyway we came home and my favorite movie was on. sweet november. god i love that movie. so i watched it and finally it was over at like 3 am. so then i got a shower and while in the shower, jim tells me that hes leaving on thursday morning to go hunting. i was like what? the deal was sat and sun, but now everything seems to have changed. so i was really pissed. so we got into a fight and i came and played on the comp till bout 5. the next day,i slept till bout 12 and then jim got up and asked if i was still mad and i said oh yea. anyway we went to his moms house and redid the whole turkey thing. so i got real full. again. and had to spend more time with his family. again. anyway, then jims friend kyle called asked if we wanted to go out to this place called the hardware bar. so we said cool yea wed go.

"THE HARDWARE BAR" (cue heavenly music) oh my god this place was so cool. ever see coyote ugly? oh yea that was this place it was like amazing.(cheesing) i havent had so much fun in........god its been awhile. there were girls on these little platforms surrounded by beer dancing. oh and there were tools everywhere too. it had 3 levels. we only made it to 2. they had real good music playing. then we went downstairs and it had all these lights on the wall changing colors. and get this, they had like 8 circular dance cages with bars. i was like whatttttt? oh my god so much fun. i was dancing like crazy. i havent been dancing in a long time. since me and jim met. jim even danced. i was drinking vodka and pineapple juice. lost count of how many though. and i had a bunch of shots. i was dancing with kyle(hehehehe jims really hot friend)erik, carl. oh and there was this guy named steve. he was sooooo fine. like pretty boy hot. he kept trying to dance with me. but i couldnt really, bc i dont really know him. its different to be all grinding on someone i know thats jims friend. i dunno how to explain it really. i even got jim to dance.(if thats what you want to call it) the only one that could really dance was steve and i couldnt do it. jim kept pushing me and i was like ehhhhh. oh yea there were some girls with us too, but i didnt care for any of them. so i was like trashed by 12am having an f-in blast and one of those stupid girls got kicked out. so we all left. now the funny thing is that girls driver was steve but kyle was up her ass, so he made it like we allhad to leave. biggest bunch of bullshit i ever heard. well the guys, ok some of the guys got pissed. and were like fuck that lets go to this other bar. so we went to this other bar that was real cool. dont ask me the name of it cuz ive got noo clue.haha. well the only problem was me and the guys were all trashed. our dd's had left. do you know how hard it is to try and be the sober clear thinking adult when you are trashed. i had to call erik and beg himto come back for us. well everyone was pissed at kyle for ruining our night for some stupid girl he was trying to get on.we drove for like 2 hrs to get there and be kicked out at 12 30. when we left the hardware bar there were a bunch of girls on the bar dancing. it was great. so well have to go back real soon, cuz that was hot. i really liked it there

sunday, i woke up and was like oooooooooooooooo. my head hurt my knees hurt and i fellt like yakking. the first hangover ive ever had in my life. and it was rough. i laid on the couch all day. hehe. still dont feel right today. going back to bed. nite nite

thank god its over

well yesterday was a disaster. so like an hour before we were supposed to go to jims moms house, she called and said she was cancelling dinner cuz she was sick. and i was like it figures. after all the fighting we did about going to his families for turkey day they ended up bailing anyway. so i was pissed and said so. i told jim i knew i should have went to jersey for turkey day. and then he said some words that i cant repeat and we fought for awhile. why do guys think that girls will just get over something in like the snap of a finger. well not this girl. so like 10 mins later he was trying to be all nice and asking me what i wanted to do and i told him i aint doing a damn thing with you. well after a few hours of fighting, finally it was decided that we were gonna go out to eat. now to me it aint turkey day if you go out to eat. its just any old day. so i was still pissed. well we went out to eat and guess who came along with us? his sister. so i had to play nice. which isnt really my forte. so we ate and it was surprisingly good. it was a buffet. so good. well i finally got the sister alone and i let her have it too. she of course said well it didnt exactly happen that way and i was like whatever. then we came home and i got on the phone to my family and since they were all together it was like an hour conversation. i gobbled at my sister for awhile.(wink wink) haha and she hated every moment of it (evil smile). then we watched spiderman for a bit. well jim and austin did. i watched csi and lemme tell you im really pissed about how it ended. if anyone saw it lemme know. and then well skip an hour and then i went to bed. so it was just another fascinating day. so glad its over. now weve got the dreaded xmas. austins bday is next week. no money. god lifes a bitch. sigh. well cya later

HAPPY TURKEY DAY!!!

well thanksgiving day has arrived. time for turkey and potatoes....mmmmmmm. i wish i was with my family but they are all in ny, and i cant afford to go see them. which sux. cuz id really like to be with my sissy. haha i keep irritating her..purely out of love(wink wink) and sending her instant messages that say gobble gobble. she keeps telling me that im weird. i say im just doing it for your enjoyment. she said she wasnt enjoying it. i said ok its for my enjoyment then. (evil smile) ohhhhh the power of sisters. i miss her alot. shes only 15 so of course i feel like i need to take care of her. i practically raised her. i really hope i can convince jim to go to jersey for xmas. that would be the best. but either way im going. with or without him. but anyway, im straying here. so austin woke up and i put on the macys parade for him. now when i was a kid i loved watching the parade. he watched 10 minutes of it and left. ow ow the ferrets biting my toes. ow dammit. hold on.ok anyway, so yea, he didnt want to watch it. i was in shock. but i guess maybe it is a little boring. i couldnt find the disney parade. but oh well. i told jim i was gonna drive myself to his parents house so that when someone in his family pisses me off, which is guarenteed to happen, i can leave. he said no. i said fine im bringing vodka then. so heres to a long night at the cleary house. (hands together in prayer, looking at the sky) please god do not let someone antagonize me into starting a fight on turkey day. haha thats what it feels like anyway.
ok happy turkey day to all. talk to you soon. probably with a massive hangover. lmao

kids these days

well yesterday was a fun day..not. i guess i need to get a job soon before i lose my damn mind. now i dont really like groups of kids, actually i dont like more then one kid. but i got the brilliant idea to invite my friends kid , who is my sons best friend, over for a sleepover. now my child has alot of energy and is a bit rowdy, well my friends child is an amped up child who acts like he drinks like 15 red bulls a day. so anyway, this little boy came over, his name is xavier. and as soon as his mom pulled out of the driveway, not even really, the excitement began. i told him to stay out of the room where the ferret was cuz it doesnt like a whole lot of noise and all this kid is is noise. well of course he didnt listen and my poor ferret is having a nervous breakdown. so i had to close the door and lock it to save poor snoop. well next thing i know i hear marbles being thrown all around the damn house. so i had to take care of that. well then xavierstarted putting toys in the toilet. i was going fucking crazy. so then i told the kids they had to take showers one at a time. my son first. well xavier decided austin was taking to long and opened the doodr and started throwing marbles at him. so then austin was picking them up and throwing them back. so theres marbles bouncing off the walls and flying down the stairs. well i got pissed and yelled at the kids then threatened them with going to bed. well then xaviers mom called to check on me to see how i was doing. and i was still irritated so i told her about what happened. well she ended up getting real pissed too and said she was coming to get him. and i tried to talk her out of it, but she wasnt hearing it. so then you know my kid got pissed at me. but well thats the breaks.

tomorrows turkey day (choking myself slowly) were supposed to be at jims moms house at 3. oh joy i can hardly contain my enthusiasm for the trip. the good thing is that his sister is gonna be there.(evil smile) and i just got word that she is pregnant. hahahahahaha. and what makes turkey day more fun then a little bit of drama? just kidding i wouldnt. but only cuz jims driving and i would be stuck there. but dont think im gonna let her off the hook that easy. oh no, im gonna give it to her alright. (whining) i wish i didnt have to goooooooooooooo.(pouting now) and i cant even pretend to be sick cuz im starting to feel better.dammit. oh well. sux to be me.

happy turkey day to all, and to all a better night then ill have. hope theyve got egg nog and rum. i may have to bring my own.hehehehehehe

who are you?

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holidays be damned

so its almost that damn time of year again. :-P the holidays. i remeber being a little girl and being so excited for turkey day and xmas and all that stuff. now that im older i think im turning in to a scrooge. well not really, but this year i am. ive got no job and noone seems to want to give me one. which means that santa cant come here to see austin. and to top it all off, im stuck going to jims families house. for the third damn year in a row.i want to go see my family.but they live in nj which is like a 3 hour drive from here and his parents live in pennslyvania which is only just over the border. this has been the fight for a few days now. i dont wanna go to his house cuz his family doesnt seem to like me anymore and i know that im starting to not like them anymore. when im there they just ignore me anyway. and who needs that shit. if they do speak to me its just something that will piss me off. so i tried to comprimise with jim. i said fine well go to your house for turkey day but were going to mine for xmas. no deal. i said why not?he said well dont you think i should be with my family since im going away? and i said yea but were going there for turkey day. (they only live five minutes away,we see them every week) and he says well dont you think i should spend as much time with them as possible. and i said fine then you go there and ill go to my house for xmas. and hes like well dont you want to spend it with me? and i said yea jim but id like to see my family.i havent seen my sister in like 4 months and my brother its been over a year. my sister is very fragile, shes 15 and thats a fragile age anyway. but almost 2 and a half years ago our mom passed away. and its really hard for her. and id like to be there to help her out bc her fathers a moron. and i just need to be with my family sometimes too. my family at least talks to him while hes there.then hes like well we can go there the weekend after. um hello we can go to your families the weekend after. and its just this big damn fight over some stupid holidays. and if your gonna be fighting well who really cares about the holiday anyway? ya know? im really feeling the urge to play sick on thursday so i dont have to go to his parents and then sneak over to my grannies. at least theyll talk to me.so holidays be damned. theyre just a battle anymore.....be back tomorrow. hopefully in a happier mood

big baby

(sniff sniff) i feel like ran over dog dooty today. it seems that i have aquired jims sickness somehow. lucky me. my day yesterday was kinda blah. jims friends spent the night after our long night of drinking on sat. and for some reason they think im there slave. livin in this house just to wait on them hand and foot. this damn ferrets a pain in my ass. ok anyway, so i left the house at like 11 yesterday morning bc jims mom wanted me to get the turkey for turkey day. we get a free one bc i spent so much money at the food store. so i went and let me tell you it was like a damn zoo there. i had to push through people to get to the turkeys. it was awful. well i had to pick one between 10-20 lbs. ow the ferrets biting my toes. brb.ok think i got hm situated.(sigh) anyway so finaly i found one that was 16 lbs. welli didnt know if that was enough but jims mom wouldnt answer the damn phone for me to ask. so i just got it. ever notice that when your carring something real heavy like you run into someone you know and they wanna chat for lik e an hour. i mean 16 frozen solid lbs of turkey may not seem like a lot but when its freezing and you carry it for awhile it is. well then i had to go to jims moms house to drop it off. meanwhile jim and his friends are all sleeping at the house. lazy bastards. so after dropping off the turkey ive got to go to my grammas house to pick up my son. another hour long thing to do cuz gramma always talks to you like she hasnt seen you in years. im gonna kill this ferret (big mental head slap) hold on a sec. ok its trying to chew wires. anyway so then i pick him up and get in my car and ive got a message on my cell from one of jims friends kyle whos back at the house. demanding breakfast. so i get home and make sure its known that my name is vanessa, not jims bitch, just in case they forgot. then they sat and played xbox all day. ever know a person whos fun when you are drunk but really irritating when your sober? well thats how the other guy karl is. so i volunteered to take him home cuz if not i was gonna start being a bitch.after that 45 min trip i came home to relax and found football on. I HATE FOOTBALL!! but i was like whatever and layed with my head on jims lap. well then i started getting sick feeling and out of nowhere all the symptoms of a bad cold kicked me in the ass. ok so you know how only when you are really sick you act like a baby, and the WHOLE time that men are sick they are a baby? well i was a lil whiny yesterday cuz i felt like crap.(still do) now when jims really sick i rub him down and make him hot tea and cater to his every need even when he whines so bad i wanna slap him. now is it so much to ask for him to show me those same things? apparently cuz he wanted sex and dinner and all this crap that i didnt feel like doing. i was snotty and my throat hurt i was half melting and half freezing. achy, you know all that good sick stuff. all i wanted was a rubdown. i got out of making dinner. but not sex, dammit. who the hell feels attractive when there nose is running? not this chick. oh well, so finaly that was done and i just wanted to pass out. well he wanted to watch tv and kept me up so i made him rub me down and finaly i passed out.it was the worst nights sleep ever. i was sweating even with my fan on. and then i was freezing god it was just awful. so here i am(big yawn) typing my story and getting my toes chewed off. at least snoop isnt chewing the wires anymore. see you tomorrow for a new day of festivities. lmao

oh and if you have any interest in poems ive written a few and you can check them out . i dont write them as much as i do here though. got to feel it you know?http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=jerzee8280 i think that should work. if not someone let me know. cya tomorrow

original sin

ok before i get into my story for the day. let me tell you how it just took me like an hour to figure out how to make a new post. god talk about a dumb moment. i was getting ready to be like screw it. ok so anyway, ive got all sorts of stories to tell.

so remember the other day how i was bitching about my mans sis? well, i know this is gonna sound immature(evil grin) but i got word from my lil gay friend the other day that she is getting married.(wider evil grin) i asked my friend if her parents new and he said yes, and then i was like well damn. well yesterday jim and i went to his parents house(rolling eyes) and out of nowhere i asked his dad if kim(the sis) was getting married cuz i heard she was blah blah blah. his dad said he hadnt heard of it , but i knew hed say something to her. so inside i was laughing my ass off because im immature and evil. well then we went out to eat with his parents which is really on the top of my list of fun things to do on a sat night....NOT. so were sitting there and they just keep talking away to jim like im not even there like they always do, and then final;ly praise god it was time to go. well dont you know his dad started talking bout something and then looked at me and was like there you go vanessa theres a new rumor for you to start. now i have this problem where i have a super duper bad temper and im known to get crazy.i had to bite my tongue till i thought i would cry, i was so pissed.so in the end i was the ass again. im telling you one of these days im gonna flip the f*** out and the family aint gonna know what hit them. which i know isnt a good thing but im starting to not care. ok enough bitching

so last night we went out to the bars. YAYYYYYY!!!!!!! finally. its been so damn long since jims been home on a weekend that we havent gone in forever. so we went to lancaster which is like 45 mins away, bc it was jims friends bday. i was so excited bc finally i didnt have to be designated driver. so i was palnning on getting tore up. well we went to this bar called the alley cat. cool atmosphere but crappy music. like im talking disco.well we were waiting for a few people and we were the first ones there. i had a margarita to start and this bitch was huge. like at least 20 oz. but it was good. but that wasnt really hitting the spot for me. so i ordered this drink called the original sin. never heard of it before but i was like what the hell. it was 7 bucks and i was like this better be a damn good drink. well so i get my drink and its got a peach color to it, i was excited. so i took a sip of it. i dont know how many of you guys are drinkers, but ever have a drink that makes your whole body shudder? this was that drink. it was like i was drinking a botlle of all different liquors and thats all. they said there was juice in it. juice my ass. it had cherry brandy, rum, gin, and vodka. and that was it. now i take pride in being a good drinker i can usually handle my own,but that shit was rough. but being the lush i am i drank it all. so everyone finally showed up and we went to a bar called cherry jubilee. well it was like 2 blocks away.it semmed like 2 miles. my ass was dragging. i couldnt believe i was already drunk like off of 2 drinks. goes to tell you how much alcohol they put in there drinks. so we went to the bar and i started drinking appletinis. wow they are really good. taste like sour apple blow pops. had twop of them and aykked. yes ladies and gents i yakked off of four damn drinks. i couldnt believe it. but all four drinks were straight liquor. i came home and passed out. i had a lot of fun thoughits better that i couldnt drink anymore bc i was dancing on the table kind of rowdy and that wouldnt have been good for anyone. lmao. ok my head hurts so im gonna be on my way back to hangover heaven. my bed. cya tomorrow

happy anniversary to us

yesterday was my and jims 3 year anniversary. we had a nice day. he bought me a new ferret and all the crap that goes with it. he named him snoop. i wanted to name him furball, but whatever. hes a goofy lil bitch. so now my hands are all clawed up and the lil bastard took a chunk out of my neck. but other than that hes cool. we did alot of shopping too. i was really hoping to go to zales for a nice platinum ring but..guess not. i know i should be grateful bc he spent like 400 dollars on me, but id rather of had the ring. im a spoiled bitch i know.

well the verdicts in...and jims being shipped off to iraq.nobody knows when yet. anytime between this coming january and next december. i feel like life is over. im so scared for him to go there. yesterday i bought a newspaper and the front page said local marine killed in iraq. god life sucks. i know this sounds so movie line like, but why cant we all just get along. instead of going through all this bullshit that just ends up killing people instead of helping.
while he was at army this past weekend they bave him all his shots for when he does go, like typhoid fever and hepatitis b and all that good crap. so now hes sick as a dog. so i guess i better go take care of my poor baby.

what kitchen utensil are YOU?

family drama

ok so sice my man is probably being shipped away, he told me that wed get married before he goes. which is great! im very happy about that. well at work i was telling my friend that we "might" get married and then i started daydreaming about it. now my friend is gay, keep that in mind. so anyway, my boyfriends sister also works at this job. she is a year younger than my man and way more immature. well my friend told his sister about it. and because she likes to cause problems between me and the family, she ran home and told her parents. well one night i get a call from jim and he is really pissed off, saying how my fa**ot friend told his sister about the marriage thing and she told the parents who in turn called him up to see if it was true. for 20 minutes i got bitched at for this. now my point is yes it was wrong of my friend to say something to the drama queen, but if you want to be mad, be mad at your sister. but he kept going on and on about my friend. i said well your sister did it on purpose like shes done many times before, why not call her and yell at her. but all he wanted to do was yell about my friend. i believe the only reason he was so mad was because his sister heard it from my GAY friend. he says its because he wanted to be the one to tell his parents. i understand his point about that, but again be mad at the sister who always stirs up the trouble so she can be the favored kid of the day. so heres my question, who do you think is right in this situation?

bush and the army

ok so this is all very new to me, so youll have to bear with me for a bit. a friend of mine just started his own new blog thing and his topic got me all riled up. so, heres my story and then my topic for the day. i have a boyfriend of 3 years and he is part of the army reserves. recently hes been told that he will possibly be sent to iraq to deal with what it is theyve got going on over there. i hate the fact that hes 98% sure that he will be going. i dont understand why they need to keep shipping people over there. it scares me very much that he will be part of that hellhole for 18 months. especially when all i hear on the news is how more and more people are dying every day. so heres my topic for today....what are your thoughts on the whole "not war" thing happeneing over there? and do you think its time for bush to pull out and let them repair themselves.