assholes

ok so yea..he is ok..i talked to him the other day and he is fine. the reason he didnt get on is bc when someone gets hurt they dont allow the internet to be on. so he is ok.


ok so heres my fucked up story for the day..now y'all know that i have been having a hard time with jim being gone lately. more so then the rest of the time he has been gone. everyone knows that. well anyway, yesterday i went to randis for a little while and then came home. as i was coming home and almost to my house, i seen a guy on a bike....it looked exactly like jims bike,and his build. so i got a little excited and i was like nahhhh...just a coincidence. i tried to think if jim owned a shirt that looked like the one the guy was wearing bc it came to me that there arent that many bikes the same color as jims. his was custom painted. so i got a little excited..and then just blew it off..so i get on my street and i see jims dad in my driveway and the garage is open and there is no bike. so i was like hmmmmm.... his dad goes..did you see jimmy go by on the bike? so my heart got all happy and i did too. and i was like really? ws that him bc i did see it?

and he goes.......no.


who fucking does that?

Meanwhile, the U.S. command announced that two more American soldiers died Wednesday — one in a bombing south of Baghdad and a second of wounds suffered in a rocket attack in Ramadi. At least 2,238 members of the U.S. military have died since the war began, according to an Associated Press count.


i know i dont need to say anything else for all of you to know how i am feeling

and to my blogging friends..i love you

i am soooo bored with life...i have no action going on. i managed to have another breakdown of sorts..valentines day is around the corner..and that sucks ass...im poor..my tax papers are taking too long to get her....and im so blah...


so for the next bunch of months..im am sorry for lack of posting. but i just dont have much to tell. life is dull and depressing. i will still visit and all..but my posting and the amount of times i visit will be slimming down a bit. i just cant seem to get into blogging.

but i love you all. and i promise as soon as something of interest happens i shall post again.

blah blah

well overall yesterday was a shitty day. i woke up in the morning and went to mcdonalds and i got pulled over. i got 2 tickets totaling $100. dammit! sigh

then the rest of the day just kinda sucked from then on. i got to talk to jim. but it required being up very late and he only talked to me for like 45 minutes. and he wasnt very pleasant..so that wasnt very fun

the small world board has gone to hell bc nick has lost his mind...so i will be a sorta active board memeber there....but there is also a new board as well if you wanna check it out....

http://hostedboard.com/phpbb/index.php?mforum=smallerworld&sid=daebe486277eb447362e8e9ddd176b55

and that is all for now

good god im bitchy

people seem to be pissing me off left and righ tthis week..i am like a ticking bobm ready to explode any minute. i miss my lover... i wanna talk to him..i had pms..and i still have no period. which is odd bc god knows i get no sex...and i havent been anymore stresed then any other month. and everybody is just getting on my damn nerves. some people on the net with their drama on the small world board, people at work..good god. i have had enough. maybe i need an internet break. but then what would i do with myself.lol god knows i have no damn life.

valentines day is coming soon. and again i will be all alone. the second year in a row. im depressed about it already. gonna have to buy myself lots of chocolate. sigh


in good news my friend benito from nj is coming next weekend. i guess his friend is in a band and they are playing in a bar in delaware so hes gonna come here. i am soooo excited. ihavent seen him in like 5 years. hes like my big bro. i just love him.

i have a myspace account.. http://www.myspace.com/jimmysgirl8280, in case you wanna visit..anyway, and some of my old jersey friends have found me. people that were my bestest friends before i moved out of jersey. they are talking about a roadtrip down here..altogether...yayyyy im excited. i havent seen these people since i was pregnant..like 8 years ago. so that should be exciting.

austin will be going away for the whole summer. thats right..the whole summer! im so excited. and he is too. he will be going to his dads for almost 3 months. so that means 3 months of freedom. which is perfect bc that will be right when jim gets home. so we can go on romantic getaways..and screw all over the house. lol

and lets seeee..austin has a field trip coming up next month. to the baltimore aquarium. i have already been there but it was years ago..so im really excited for that too.


tomorrow night i am going with randi to a friends house. should be interesting.lol

thats about it

dullness

sorry my posts are so random guys but life is very dull. no drama, no bitching, no nothing to tell of. lol...im so dull. i talked to jim again today which was great. i really beleive that i have changed alot since he left..but in a good way. well except for not liking his family..that just got worse. but i think i have learned to aprreciate him even more. i really cant wait for him to come home so i can love him. the way i feel he should be loved..bc before i just took so much for granted. and its amazing how it took him being away so long to figure it all out. i hope that i can remember all this when he gets home. well i know i iwll remember it when he gets home..i just hope it isnt a temporary thing. know what i mean? god i love him soo much.

heres a little bit of our talk today..i know how you all love it..lol

JeRzEeGrLiNmD (8:57:20 AM): what else are you excited for?
jiminiraq2005 (8:59:22 AM): laying in bed with you and falling asleep holding you
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (8:59:40 AM): awwww baby...i cant wait for that either
jiminiraq2005 (9:01:53 AM): i love you
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (9:07:34 AM): ok baby i love you forever and ever. i enjoyed our chat today..sleep well and have dirty dreams of me. i love you and hopefully we can talk to morrow for a little bit..otherwise i will see you later in the week when you have shift change
jiminiraq2005 (9:08:45 AM): ok love ill talk to you later i love you forever and i will try to talk to you tomorow enjoy your day and i enjoyed our chat as well
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (9:09:09 AM): ok baby goodnight..feel better...talk to you soon...love you
jiminiraq2005 (9:09:39 AM): ok love you good bye my love

i thought there was more that i could post on here..but it was a dirty talk kind of day..lol heres some from the other day

jiminiraq2005 (2:51:49 AM): you like being dirty
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (2:51:52 AM): i do
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (2:52:00 AM): you love that i like it
jiminiraq2005 (2:52:24 AM): yea i do
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (2:52:49 AM): is that what makes you love me most?bc i m so dirty?
jiminiraq2005 (2:53:07 AM): i dont think so
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (2:53:22 AM): you dont think so?
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (2:53:25 AM): really?
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (2:53:30 AM): hmmm
jiminiraq2005 (2:53:39 AM): thats not why i love you
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (2:53:47 AM): i thought it would be..i think if i wasnt so dirty..you wouldnt tolerate me as much
jiminiraq2005 (2:53:56 AM): thats just an added bonus
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (2:53:59 AM): lol
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (2:54:01 AM): i love you
jiminiraq2005 (2:54:08 AM): i love you
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (2:54:24 AM): i really miss you alot
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (2:54:34 AM): i just wanna squeeze you
jiminiraq2005 (2:54:45 AM): and i miss uyo
jiminiraq2005 (2:55:03 AM): yea i know the feelng
jiminiraq2005 (2:55:09 AM): yea
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (2:55:34 AM): you know the feeling? awwwww you wanna squeeze me too?
jiminiraq2005 (2:55:49 AM): yea
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (2:56:10 AM): your so sweet to me when you are halfway across the world in hell
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (2:56:38 AM): like lovey like and stuff..we will have to work on you keeping it when you get home
jiminiraq2005 (2:57:42 AM): oh yea
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (2:57:55 AM): yea
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (2:57:59 AM): i like a lovey jim
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (2:58:13 AM): lovey jim rocks
jiminiraq2005 (2:58:13 AM): thats good
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (2:58:16 AM): lol
jiminiraq2005 (2:58:18 AM): ill se what i can do
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (12:42:39 PM): yea so anyway..i wanna have lots and lots and lots of sex
jiminiraq2005 (12:43:54 PM): me too
jiminiraq2005 (12:44:09 PM): for as long as hmanly possible

and thats bout it..life is good i guess..im tired so i will post more tomorrow

he is ok

my lover is ok. the other night it was looking like i may get a whole night of sleep for the first time in 2 months..when the phone rang. i pried my eyeballs open to see it was 2am...and the phone was ringing..as i was cursing obscenely..i answered to hear my sissys voice telling me jim was on the comp. so i ran to it and chatted with him till about 3am. he was ok and normal jim. and if i hadnt been so friggin exhausted i would have been really happy.

i got another message today too..so all is well. so far. but i read a thing on yahoo news that said the violence is gonna get worse over there. i wish he would come home. i miss him and i want him here safe..

sorry im so moody lately..but like i said i havent had a good nights sleep in 2 months..i got pms..and this stuff with him being there and his stupid mom is just putting me over the edge..not to mention sexual frustrations.lol

thank you all for your kind thoughts. i will be by to visit you all on sat.

still nothing

still havent heard from jim. and dammit why does the bitch keep calling me and stressing me out more!!!!!!!!

im not answering the phone anymore

god i feel sick

there is so much going on over there in hell..its scary. a good bit of u.s. people have been killed this weekend. anything that was after 12pm yesterday in iraq time..could be something jim was involved in. im so scared. i hate when jims mom makes me crazed bc it keeps me crazed for awhile. i havent heard from him since our talk yesterday morning. and its driving me crazy. i hate when he is on the shift hes on now bc he has much more to do then the other shifts..and i see him alot more. i hate feeling scared for him. i wish this was over. i dont know how much longer i can stay sane

thank you

my lover is ok. good thing i never get any sleep any more or i would have missed him. but i woke up for the third time at 4am and jim was on. so i got to talk to him and he's ok. god i miss him so damn much. it seems these last months are the hardest yet.i'm so excited for him to be almost done. imean we are more then half way done. but good god..i want him home now. i cant take the damn stress anymore and god knows i havent slept good in months. and jesus i want his mom to leave me the fuck alone already.

yesterday i was supposed to go to his moms to drop off money. i said i would be there AROUND 4:30pm. well i eneded up talking to an old friend from high school that i havent talked to in years. and we talked for about an hour. and finally i got myself off the phone and into the shower getting ready to start the evenings events. well while i was in the shower austin comes up and goes sue is here. so i said ok tell her i will be down in a minute. all i could think was that jim was dead. sounds gruesome i know,but everything thats been happening is right where he is. noone has heard from him in days and i didnt understand why she would've been there otherwise since i said i was gonna drive over there. so as i get out of the shower i am shaking..thinking that i would feel it in my heart that if something happened i would know..i would feel it. but still i was shaking and on the verge of tears. i go down and shes there and shes looking all sad and i was like whats up sue. and shes like i am here for money and as i was getting ready to say i was on my way there she was bitching talking about i was taking too long. i just let it go. im too fucking tired to fight these days. then i told her i havent heard from jim still and shes like oh thats not good. not good at all. i hate talking to her bc she makes me more crazy about him then i already am. she gets me all freaked out thinking the worst..and i dont need that. finally she left and i asked austin if he asked who it was before he let her in. he says i didnt let her in she let herself in. she used her key to just fucking walk right in. now ok..i can see if i wasnt here..but if i am here..you dont just fucking whip out the key and walk right in. i have had it with this bitch!! i have no privacy at all. its ridiculous. sighh..then i went on my merry way to randis house. stayed there for awhile. not sure how long..but then randi came here bc her house was like a zoo. and we played video games and chatted for a bit. our new mission is shrek 2. its pretty hard. we were far in the game and then the guy that lives at randis house with her accidently..accidently my ass! so anyway now we have to work all the way back up there again. which is my mission for today.

anyway, then i went to slepp and woke up like a hundred times....sigh..and caught my lover on the computer. god i miss him and want him so bad. i have high hopes for his return. i cant way to love him. and aprreciate him and all that stuff. i think when he gets home things will be different..but a good different. i think we will appreciate each other much more..and be more lovey.

JeRzEeGrLiNmD (5:10:08 AM): what is the very first thing you want to do when you get home
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (5:10:10 AM): dirty thing
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (5:10:13 AM): i think i know
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (5:10:17 AM): but i wanna hear it
jiminiraq2005 (5:10:22 AM): take a shower
jiminiraq2005 (5:10:26 AM): and kiss you
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (5:10:51 AM): yayy
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (5:10:55 AM): i cant wait to be kissed
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (5:10:58 AM): i miss kissing
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (5:11:10 AM): when you come home im gonna knock you down and kiss you for hours
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (5:11:12 AM): so be prepared
jiminiraq2005 (5:11:18 AM): ok
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (5:11:31 AM): you know how i love kissing
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (5:11:39 AM): you know we used to kiss alot more in the beginning
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (5:11:44 AM): we dont kiss enough anymore
jiminiraq2005 (5:13:10 AM): we dont kiss at all righ now
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (5:13:19 AM): well duh
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (5:13:27 AM): but when you are here..we dont kiss nearly enough
jiminiraq2005 (5:13:43 AM): we can fix that
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (5:13:49 AM): good
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (5:13:52 AM): i wanna kiss alot
jiminiraq2005 (5:14:03 AM): yea and kiss my nuts alot
jiminiraq2005 (5:14:04 AM): too

lmao..pig. i sent him a box of stuff. nothing really exciting..but it was enough to make him think of me...i made him give me a play by play of the opening of the box..lol

jiminiraq2005 (4:54:45 AM): some one kicked something into my area
jiminiraq2005 (4:54:51 AM): i woke up
jiminiraq2005 (4:54:58 AM): i saw it was a box
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (4:55:04 AM): damn they kicked it?
jiminiraq2005 (4:55:08 AM): then i saw it was from you
jiminiraq2005 (4:55:14 AM): i opened it
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (4:55:24 AM): uhh huhhhh
jiminiraq2005 (4:55:32 AM): it made the area smell like you
jiminiraq2005 (4:55:41 AM): then i took the bear out
jiminiraq2005 (4:55:48 AM): and put it on my bed
jiminiraq2005 (4:56:03 AM): then i put the candy in my fridge
jiminiraq2005 (4:56:18 AM): i looked at the picture and the card
jiminiraq2005 (4:56:51 AM): it took me like 10 min to get the calender out if the bottom cause it was a perfect fit
jiminiraq2005 (4:57:09 AM): i looked therough the calander put it on my bed
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (4:57:09 AM): lmao
jiminiraq2005 (4:57:30 AM): tehn i got in bed with the bear and slept happily ever after
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (4:57:40 AM): happily ever after huh?
jiminiraq2005 (4:58:10 AM): i slept like a baby

i sent him another special bear from my collection drowned in perfume that i wear..lol..i love that he slept with it...hehe..god i miss him

please god

there was a few soldiers killed right where jim is at. i havent heard from him in days...

please dear god let him be ok

i miss my booboo

life is so friggin dull here. im so bored and im so tired of being bored. i wish all the people i loved lived by me. but they are all miles and miles away. and it sucks. i feel lonely. i miss my sissy and i miss my friends and i really fucking miss jim.

i miss being with him and i miss hugging him..and i miss how he rubs my head when it hurts so bad till i go to sleep. and i have been having alot of problems sleeping lately. i was telling him about it and hes so silly. i keep having these dreams where someone is trying to kill me..and if it isnt a dream like that it is a dream that is a jim dream that is a tease. i never..ok rarely ever have bad dreams when jim is home..i guess thats bc he is laying next to me. its amazing how much i took for granted when he was here. just simple things..like pet me till my head hurts..or make me laugh at his goofy faces. wrestling around, or how he would tickle my back till i fell asleep every night. scrubbing me in the shower and washing my hair.sighh. it has been one year today. it was a fast year..now 6 months left to go. unless i get lucky and he gets to come home early.

i wish he was here now

scarlett made me

i went to see my buddy scarlett and she made me do this damn thing..grrrr

1. SEVEN THINGS TO DO BEFORE I DIE

1. Have a threesome
2. go bungee jumping
3. have my big cinderella wedding on valentines day
4. get skiinier then i have ever been
5. get a boob lift and reduction
6. go to italy
7. go to school and become somebody

2. SEVEN THINGS I CANNOT (won't) DO

1. let someone preach religion to me and pressure me to live life as they do
2. change who i am to please anybody..not even jim
3. force my child to do things he doesnt want to..like play sports..that kind of stuff
4. become an asshole to my family like my stepfather..i want to love everyone and make sure they feel love
5. forget my mother and the things she did for us
6. let jim go without a fight
7. let my sister down

3. SEVEN THINGS THAT ATTRACT ME TO MEN

1. nice pink full lips
2. dimples
3. Personality
4. Attitude
5. Ass
6. muscles
7. eye color

4. SEVEN THINGS I SAY MOST OFTEN

1. what ever floats your boat
2. whatever
3. keep telling yourself that
4. you're the best
5. i miss jim
6. lol AUSTIN GET IN THE DAMN SHOWER ALREADY!!
7. Fuck!

5. SEVEN BOOKS THAT I LOVE

1. ANY OF THE STEPHANIE PLUM BOOKS..IM BRAIN DEAD SO I CANT THINK OF THE AUTHOR...damn still in caps
2. all of the in death series by nora roberts...i think thats who it is
3. all of the laurel hamilton books
4. Any dean koontz book
5. the a-z series by sue grafton
6. and where the heart is
7.


6. SEVEN MOVIES I WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN

1. the 1996 version of romeo and juliet
2. honey
3. Notebook
4. aladdin....its my fave!
5. monster in law..funny as hell
6. foxfire..one of the first angelina jolie movies
7. sweet november....my other absolute fave

7. SEVEN PEOPLE I WANT TO JOIN IN ON OR PASS THIS SEVEN THINGY TO.

1. cowboy joe
2. the queen
3. dom
4. my misguided fool
5. dl
6. erin
7. whoever wants to do it

so not much else to discuss really..my poor baby. he is on a new shift now..so we dont really get to talk. the only reason i get to talk to him today is bc i am not going to work bc my child is sick. again. yes he came home on sunday with a killer cough. the same damn one i just got rid of before he left.dammit. but its ok bc i dont wanna go anyway.lol i have all new days now so i am good to go.

anyway back to jim..yea so we dont talk much lately..and he is getting really sad. i feel bad but there isnt anything i can do. i had the last 3 days off of work and he couldnt get it to work. so that sucked..but when i am at work he is on. i am talking to him now and the stupid comp is acting up which is pissing me off bc i finally get to talk to him and his connection sucks ass!. hes been really sweet to me lately..which i know means that he is very homesick. here are some snippets

jiminiraq2005 (3:11:08 PM): i love you branessa i miss you
JeRzEeGrLiNmD (3:15:57 PM): ok baby..and dont forget to tell me if you get my box..and if you like it and stuff. i love you sweet dreams. ill talk to you soon
jiminiraq2005 (3:17:22 PM): there always sweet after i talk to you and i will let you know i love you

and here are some of the ones i got while i was at work last week that just broke my heart

jiminiraq2005 (8:23:50 AM): where are you lover
jiminiraq2005 (9:10:05 AM): ill try to wait up for you love talk to you later love you
jiminiraq2005 (8:20:48 AM): hi lover
jiminiraq2005 (8:22:01 AM): i hope im here when you get on i love you


i guess they dont seem that bad..but you have to know jim. i miss my baby

happy 2006

hello everyone and happy new year! i hope you all had a fun night. i had a very good night..well depending on how you look at it.

my new years resolution is to treat jim better and to understand what he is going through alot better. to appreciate him more.

thats all i have to say